WARNING...it was written by an emotional woman!

6 weeks it not enough time for a new mom! It went by so fast. I have dreaded this day since before Lucy was even born and it almost got the best of me last night. I have had nightmares all week and some of the worst last night. At her 3 am and 5 am feeding I had a hard time putting her back in her crib. I didn’t want to put my little Lu down, I wanted to hold her and kiss her. Before I knew it 7am rolled around and the mad rush to get us ready for the day started. I was doing ok until Lucy started to wake up for the day, I lost it! She was all smiles and it melted my heart even more! Sterling came home just after 8 to help. Thank heavens too! Sterling is the best father and husband! He cares so much for his girls and it shows in this two jobs and constant work on the house. He does so well in handling all that he does and than some how musters the energy to deal with an emotional wife and cares for our little Lucy till 1 sometimes 2 am on the nights he doesn’t work both jobs.
We dropped Lucy off at the babysitter, I held up ok. I didn’t cry. I did get teary eyed. The crying (more like sob) came when we reached the car. Thankfully Sterling was there for me! Again you can see what a perfect man I married. I know this isn’t easy on him either and I am so thankful that he was so understanding and caring. After some time I gathered myself together (enough that I could kind of see out of my teary eyes) and headed to work. Yes I cried like a little baby the whole 15 minutes to work. I called my mom to talk to her, she helped calm me down.
Returning to work and all the drama makes it even harder. A certain co worker has made it especially hard for me. I have done my best dealing with all the work and drama that has somehow pilled up. The day has lasted for what seems like FOREVER! All I can think about is picking up my little Lu and taking her home to snuggle in bed until dad gets home from his second job. I have spent a great deal of time keeping my emotions in check and customizing my work computer with pictures of Lucy. It’s been rather interesting to see how my perspective on work and life in general changed. I can see the changes in myself (the physical ones are not so cute but I am working on it). I am so blessed to know that this situation isn’t a permanent because of a husband who is working as hard as ever for our family. Blessed to have a home we can return to at the end of the day. Blessed with support from our families. Blessed to know that Heavenly Father loves me.